We live in a culture where the people with the least to say are given the largest microphones, and the ones with something to offer are buried under the noise. Thoughtfulness no longer sells. Nuance doesn’t trend. Precision is punished. The media environment rewards bombast, tribalism, and repetition, so that’s what wins.

What passes for discourse today is more performance than persuasion. Ideas are no longer tested, but marketed, and the better ideas generally lose.

Politicians don’t explain anymore; they brand. And the more cartoonish the brand, the more airtime it gets. We are governed by slogans, distracted by spectacles, and placated by soundbites. It’s not just that the emperor has no clothes, it’s that we are distracted by hand size.

Donald Trump speaks in shallow, bombastic terms because that’s what the modern media landscape demands. He didn’t create the incentives, but he mastered them. In private, he’s articulate and strategic. In public, he plays a character because the system rewards it.

AOC, by contrast, doesn’t speak that way to manipulate. She speaks that way because it’s the only political language she knows. I don’t think she’s lying. I think she means every word she says, at least to the degree that she understands them. She’s got Bernie on the brain: all moral outrage, no sense. And that’s the real problem. Sincerity without depth doesn’t elevate the discourse. It collapses it. It becomes as shallow as a mid-summer mud puddle – just like her head.

Of course, she’s touring with Bernie Sanders. He’s one of the few people out there who might actually think she makes sense. If she happens to read this, she’ll probably cite audience size as proof she’s right. But first, that’s precisely what Donald Trump would say, which perfectly proves my point. And second, when I was her age, I could have said the same thing about Britney Spears.

When AOC was still the new cute darling rather than the one approaching replacement age, my mother told me not to worry — she’d learn. My response was simple: Maybe she should have learned something before she ever ran for office. That may sound harsh, but it’s true: I genuinely don’t think she could get a Manhattan right. And if she does happen to read this… pro tip: use sweet vermouth, not simple syrup.

I mean, nobody’s asking her to be Winston Churchill, but she could at least try to sound more like Karl than Groucho. And honestly, I don’t even mean Groucho. I mean the other Marx brother: the one where the whole gag was that he didn’t talk because he didn’t have anything to say.

She’s a caricature of actual communication, in the same way Al Pacino has become a caricature of his own acting. Loud, animated, impossible to ignore, and long past any connection to craft.

Incidentally, I would rather have used Christopher Walken as a caricature of himself, but I needed to make sure you have actually seen the person act, and it is more likely that you have seen The Godfather than The Deer Hunter. Both men started as brilliant actors, and then never actually acted again.

The difference between Pacino and Walken is just the movie they started with. The difference between Trump and AOC is that Trump knows he’s performing. AOC doesn’t.

Trump speaks like this:

“Did I say that? I might have. I certainly would say that if that was something I was going to say. So, yeah, maybe I said it. It would not be dumb, I can certainly tell you that. So did I say it? I don’t know, but I would say it if I were going to say it.”

It’s not elegant, but it’s intentional. Trump speaks in loops, fragments, and punchlines because it works. He’s adapted to the format of modern discourse the way a virus adapts to a host. He’s not trying to be understood; he’s trying to be remembered.

AOC, on the other hand, sounds like this:

“So sometimes they like to call it ‘free market’ instead of ‘capitalism,’ but don’t be fooled because that is the same thing. It means they get capital when nothing in the market is free. So what I say when someone calls it ‘free market’ is like, ‘What in your market is free?’ Is healthcare free in your market? Is food free? Is housing free? I want things made free FOR people. You can keep your greedy little market to yourself.”

The difference? AOC is currently Googling to see whether I made her quote up. Trump, meanwhile, is laughing his ass off, whether he actually said it or not.

One is a performer, and the other is a believer. Both dominate for the same reason: depth is no longer required.

You know why this works? It’s not because it’s effective in any classical sense. It doesn’t persuade. It doesn’t enlighten. It doesn’t deepen anyone’s understanding of anything.

It works because we are shallow.

We don’t care about thoughtful discourse. It doesn’t trend. It doesn’t entertain. Even our moral outrage only lasts until Starbucks gets our latte wrong.

Let’s be honest: for some people reading this, the only reason you’re even here is because I allowed myself to be shallow enough to “own a lib.” That’s what got your attention, not the structural critique, not the historical framing, not the warning about civilizational decline.

It was the flash – the jab. It was the part where I said something sharp about someone you already don’t like.

That’s the game now. And we’re all playing it, whether we admit it or not.

I’ll answer my own question with this: I’m not famous because this article is not my typical essay.